What's in a name?

For as long as I can remember, my mom made up nicknames for various family, friends, enemies and neighbours. It's not as mean spirited as it sounds. It's just something we did. And we all had nicknames for each other too.

I recently asked her when this habit originated. She replied that she'd been doing it as long as she could remember and that her father (my papa) had always had nicknames for the people in his life. Some of them are so hilarious. I wonder if it's a Newfie thing?

Anyway, here is an incomplete list of my mother's nicknames:

Pidgeon Man/Heartattack (As kids, we couldn't call him Heartattack because that was disrespectful, so we called him by his other alias because he kept a coop full of homing pidgeons in his backyard.)

Beer Man (He worked at the Beer Store for 40 years and always appeared to be a bit of a lush.)

Duck (Over-sized lady on our street that waddled.)

Duck's Son (Obvious relation to Duck)

Bela Lugosi (Creepy old lady of undetermined Eastern European nationality who smelled like cabbage and always wore boots and a kerchief.

Leek Lady (Another old lady of unspecified Eastern Bloc origins who would give my mom a grocery bag of leeks from her garden every time she saw her.

Egg Lady (Long before in-vitro fertilization became common place, this woman who belonged to our tennis club, always talked about her IVF treatments. She always had an update on the quantity of eggs in her womb.

Stubby (Short dude across the street.)

Mopey (Neighbour whose name rhymes with this and consequently is a bit on the sour side.)

Court Report (A mentally-challenged teenager who used to come over to our house all the time and give my Dad updates on what was happening at the local tennis courts. He rode a tricked up 10-speed and looked a helluva lot like Napoleon Dynamite.

Lady Jane (An effeminate teenager who liked to braid my hair.)

Crazy Helen (A complete nutter who lived on our street that used to walk around barefoot in the snow.)

Silly (A neighbour with a Mike Tyson-esque high-pitched voice and a penchant for wearing pointy Italian loafers.)

Nina Ballerina (A rather large woman named Nina who was very unlikely to ever be a ballerina.)

Durty Dag (Another neighbour, this one an Italian New Jersey house wife. She hated her husband's dog and would throw a shit fit when it got into the house. She was often heard screaming, "Get that durty dag outta my kitchen!")

Photographer (A nosey guy across the street who always appeared outta nowhere when anything was happening - akin to the paparazzi.)

The Russians (My mom's cousins who would show up unexpected and in great numbers at any time of day and night.)

You can't even imagine what we call each other!